One Fifth

I am currently reading this book. I figure, I'm a fan of Candace's amazing creation that saved my life (Sex and The City) so I'll give this a try. So far I hate it :) Wait for updates.

right now

another one about goals

I've been reading a lot lately about women making their mark on the world. From Diane Von Furstenburg to Mariane Pearl, I'm inspired through and through. I guess there's an assumption that sexism no longer exists but, just like most kinds of prejudice, it's just very hidden today. There are "man" jobs and there are "woman" jobs and that seriously bothers me. It's not like I want to be a mechanic or a fire fighter (personally) but I know girls who do, and won't because they'll be perceived as "manly". All I have to say to that is FUCK THAT. There is no way I fall for any of that bullshit. Not every girl is going to love fashion magazines or idolize Paris Hilton (I actually don't buy that either) and nobody in this world should tell them that they should. I've never had a steady idea of what I've wanted to "be" and I'd actually get jealous when, being 8 years old and not even knowing these words, the other 8 year olds would proudly tell the adults they wanted to be lawyers or psychiatrists. I was like, where was I when the whole world advanced without me? I didn't get the notice.

I have a strange mesh of womanly and manly characteristics. For example, I'm pretty girly on the outside but, just like most boys learn to be in childhood, I'm tough skinned. Like they say in french, je ne me laisse pas faire. Basically, I don't let people step all over me, my beliefs, goals, ambitions, wants, needs. They aren't stupid, unrealistic or pointless (these are all real things I've heard) because I want them. And that's essentially the only thing that matters. My life isn't going to affect yours. So, kindly, go fuck yourself. We're living in a modern world, adjust your views.

goals

I feel like I'm walking around in a dream. Like some kind of cozy bubble. Lately, it feels as though all things have fallen into place and I feel a bit better, like I'm getting there. And it feels really good.

I have thought long and hard lately about my life, and what I want to do. And who I want to be in my life, and those that I don't want anymore. It's like I'm doing a spring-cleaning: life edition. I'm getting rid of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE who stands in my way.

I have plans to take my cosmetics course and then take my Carrie Bradshaw-wannabe-ass to New York. I really feel certain that it's gonna happen. But my first goal is to find a cute appartment this summer in the city, live a little bit, go back to school in the fall. And when all of that's done, finally make my move. Whatever it happens to be by then, because you never know...