cigarettes

I remember when I quit smoking. It was the 7th of May. It was about 10 p.m. I had just finished watching Grey's Anatomy's second last episode for this season and I was a little bit nerve wracked. I went to reach for a cigarette, because I needed to calm down or unwind or something, but I had this slight moment where I thought, what if I just try to calm down naturally? Crazy. Well it worked for that night, and the next few weeks to come. But come the beginning of June, I started to hyperventilate every day, my hands devoid of any time-wasting activity I might need on lunch breaks, etc. So I said fuck it, and that night when my mom called me asking if I wanted anything from the dep I said, YES. A pack of 20 Viceroy regulars. And there you have it, it was that easy to un-do all of the effort I had made (well, ok, it was only a month or so but still).

What goes better with a vanilla-almond coffee? What goes better with late night movies? What goes better with flipping through fashion magazines in your underwear until the wee hours of the morning? I think I'm insane. I need a cigarette.