so much shit

4 days til Christmas... *sigh* I was sick all last week so I missed a week's worth of pay, which sucks, but I got a Christmas bonus. Sweet. "God" works in mysterious ways I guess. I still have a ton of gift shopping left to do and I really suck at this stuff. I'm the kind of person who always wants to come off thoughtful, rather than just shove any kind of gift in someone's hands. But maybe I let me thoughts get the best of me because it has literally left me down-to-the-wire, last minute, freaking out. I was about to head out and so some shopping right now but I figured I'd update this thing first. I was thinking today that I never make new year's resolutions, and that maybe this was why I always feel like nothing in my life ever changes. As Ghandi said, "we must become the change we want to see". I find myself able to quote Ghandi a lot when it comes to any kind of shit that actually matters in life. Go figure.

Anyway, I want to start today. Based on many things that have been happening lately. The biggest, most important thing I can think of at the moment is to be more aware and thankful of the people around me. Never think it's ok to not say even a simple thank you. To be able to apologize and be the bigger person, to be able to forgive. To ask them about their day, their life, their feelings for a change. Today a woman who is a regular at the Starbucks I work at baked us a cake. And I just thought that was such a simple but enormously kind gesture of her. She never had to do that for people who she doesn't really even know, but simply did as a thank you. She once complimented my eyeliner and I remember being slightly embarassed, just because I felt very on-the-spot and not to mention just generally surprised that someone was engaging in real, non-coffee-related conversation with me. It's sad to be shocked by an act of kindness because that really shows us what kind of world we're living in. So I really took that to heart and I am choosing to run with this information. Resolution 1, done.