self explanatory

Christmas '10

so much shit

4 days til Christmas... *sigh* I was sick all last week so I missed a week's worth of pay, which sucks, but I got a Christmas bonus. Sweet. "God" works in mysterious ways I guess. I still have a ton of gift shopping left to do and I really suck at this stuff. I'm the kind of person who always wants to come off thoughtful, rather than just shove any kind of gift in someone's hands. But maybe I let me thoughts get the best of me because it has literally left me down-to-the-wire, last minute, freaking out. I was about to head out and so some shopping right now but I figured I'd update this thing first. I was thinking today that I never make new year's resolutions, and that maybe this was why I always feel like nothing in my life ever changes. As Ghandi said, "we must become the change we want to see". I find myself able to quote Ghandi a lot when it comes to any kind of shit that actually matters in life. Go figure.

Anyway, I want to start today. Based on many things that have been happening lately. The biggest, most important thing I can think of at the moment is to be more aware and thankful of the people around me. Never think it's ok to not say even a simple thank you. To be able to apologize and be the bigger person, to be able to forgive. To ask them about their day, their life, their feelings for a change. Today a woman who is a regular at the Starbucks I work at baked us a cake. And I just thought that was such a simple but enormously kind gesture of her. She never had to do that for people who she doesn't really even know, but simply did as a thank you. She once complimented my eyeliner and I remember being slightly embarassed, just because I felt very on-the-spot and not to mention just generally surprised that someone was engaging in real, non-coffee-related conversation with me. It's sad to be shocked by an act of kindness because that really shows us what kind of world we're living in. So I really took that to heart and I am choosing to run with this information. Resolution 1, done.

holiday blabber

...been a while since I've updated this thing. And we're so close to Christmas, that's how long it's been. Speaking of Christmas, I've been poring through cookbooks and cooking magazines, racking my brains, trying to find something holiday-worthy to bake. I'm also set to attend an Eid dinner this Friday(for those unfamiliar with Eid: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_Mubarak) so I'm actually searching for 2 recipes.. each one being unique to it's respective celebration.

I'm honestly a bit more excited for Eid than Christmas. Christmas is a bit of a sore spot for my family, always has been. I've been noticing lately though that it's like this for more families than I thought. Or people in general. Some people really, really love it but a lot of people really, really hate it. When I was a child I could never imagine why someone would hate Christmas. Or how they could, rather. But I totally see it now. The (sometimes wasted) money, energy, etc that goes into planning the dinner, the gifts, the perfect festive atmosphere. The more people that become involved in your life, integrated into your family, the higher the stress level gets. Especially when there are people you aren't exactly fond of...

But anyway, I can safely say that what I am for sure looking forward to this holiday season is vacation time!