09

some pics I found... ranging from newer to older

useme

Everyone uses each other. It's human nature. But my question is, is one way of using someone worse than another? If we use someone for sex let's say, or personal favors, is it worse than hanging out with someone who was your plan B? If you use someone for company is it worse than using someone for purely selfish, self-pleasing reasons. Are they both selfish?

beauty blunder

today I bought a John Frieda Luminous Color Glaze in "Ruby to Mahogany" because that was the only shade my pharmacy carries, and I figured it was the only red shade. well I came home, googled it for reviews, and was thrown way off when I saw that there was a glaze for more coppery red tones, which is what my hair is (The dye I use is called Light Mahogany Blonde Red so I related to the word mahogany on the glaze bottle and... there you have it). So, since I bought it on sale I can't return it. And I'm afraid to use it because I'm more than certain it will darken my shade. If anyone happens to read this.... HELP!

Valentino: The Last Emperor

I just went to see this documentary tonight, and I have to say I was blown away. And I'm never blown away by anything or anyone. Valentino has always come across to me as just this overly tanned, overly glamourized creature but in this movie when they describe him as the last couturier, they are absolutely right. Nothing about a Valentino gown is "factory" or "commercial". It's 100% human labor; every last sequin.

In this doc, Valentino reminded me of any elderly man, nevermind whether he's devastatingly rich or just a regular joe; he had the temper of any (European) old man you've ever known but also the sweetness and vulnerability of your very own grandfather.

I have to say that, besides the incredible fashion, the highlight of this film for me was the relationship between Valentino and his partner Giancarlo Giammetti. Their relationship is portrayed in a realistic manner; fighting, ignoring, ridiculing, insulting and all. It's not censored and I found that very refreshing. For a couple who has been together 50+ years, I was expecting to see some harsh reality, some tough love. But also some sweet love.

Every time Valentino teared up in the film, I did too. When I saw the final product of the white gown he was designing, the one he dreamt of and said it would be the collection's best piece, I teared up. When I saw the final fashion show, with guests ranging from Sarah Jessica Parker to Karl Lagerfeld to Diane Von Furstenburg, I cried. It was very moving to me.

Every step of the way in this documentary, I fell harder and faster in love with Valentino Garavani. His mark will be left on the world forever.

HA!

This website just tried to tell me that I have the same sized boobs as janet jackson, jennifer love hewitt and .... BRIGITTE NIELSEN.


BRIGITTE NIELSEN.



goodnight.

philtrum piercing

I got my philtrum (aka "medusa") pierced today. I have to admit it hurt like a bitch. I have 5 piercings including this one now, and for me getting my belly button pierced hurt the most. I mean, agonizing pain. The medusa probably comes in close second, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I thought the swelling would be of epic, embarassing proportions but it's already going down. I just got it pierced like 5 hours ago and I'm comfortable enough to talk and eat and even be SEEN.

It's also very good for my smoking habit... because every time I smoke, I have to rinse my mouth with salt water which I hate. So yeah, that's about it. I'm pretty excited. Stay tuned.

KISS/ALIVE35

Monday, July 13, 2009. Kiss/Alive35, Bell Centre. I can barely even begin to explain this show; hands down, best show of my life. I can still barely believe or put the thoughts together in my brain that this actually did happen, I saw Kiss. Even when I saw Ozzy back in January 2008, I wasn't even this overwhelmed. To begin with, the setlist was awesome. They opened with Deuce and then ripped right into Strutter, which is my fuckin song. They played all their classics and during Rock and Roll All Nite there was like, a confetti outburst. Fuck, I can't even really get to the point because you'll never get the point unless you were there. When Paul Stanley flew over the crowd, to the makeshift stage that was TWO FEET in front of me, I nearly fainted. PAUL STANLEY, in all his flamboyant and cocky glory, was right in my face singing Love Gun. So yeah honestly, best night of my life. I can't get over it.

ugh- EW

i'm sincerely tired of reading about teenagers in fashion magazines.. there's a reason i don't buy seventeen or cosmogirl anymore. i don't care what Miley Cyrus has to say about, well, just about anything. she was on the cover of Glamour a couple months ago which was bad enough, and today when i went out to buy the august '09 issue of Elle, guess whose face i saw on it... ? yeah, i'm only like 3 years older than her but we live totally different lifestyles and realities. in actuality, she's 14 and i'm 25. same with Taylor Swift being on the august '09 cover of Glamour.. yeah, she's my age, but i don't want to read about some purity-ring-wearing girl who can *gasp* PLAY GUITAR. please. stop.

i need no sympathy

nothing really matters
anyone can see
nothing really matters
nothing really matters to me

summer '09 staples

cigarettes

I remember when I quit smoking. It was the 7th of May. It was about 10 p.m. I had just finished watching Grey's Anatomy's second last episode for this season and I was a little bit nerve wracked. I went to reach for a cigarette, because I needed to calm down or unwind or something, but I had this slight moment where I thought, what if I just try to calm down naturally? Crazy. Well it worked for that night, and the next few weeks to come. But come the beginning of June, I started to hyperventilate every day, my hands devoid of any time-wasting activity I might need on lunch breaks, etc. So I said fuck it, and that night when my mom called me asking if I wanted anything from the dep I said, YES. A pack of 20 Viceroy regulars. And there you have it, it was that easy to un-do all of the effort I had made (well, ok, it was only a month or so but still).

What goes better with a vanilla-almond coffee? What goes better with late night movies? What goes better with flipping through fashion magazines in your underwear until the wee hours of the morning? I think I'm insane. I need a cigarette.

I want this so badly.

LC

"There are cracks in everything
That's how the light gets in"
xx

bloody monday

I just got home from writing an english exam. I ended up writing just 75 words short of the required 600. But I figured, fuck it, I'm half asleep with stupid shit on my mind and I'm not in the mood. Right now I could go for a joint and a LONG nap. No more exams for the rest of this week, but then they start right back up next week. I just want summer to start. I want to not give a shit about anything (well, more than I already don't give a shit hahahh) ......

I wish I was in Australia right now. Somewhere fucking beautiful where no one (or at least I) would not have worries.

my good deed for today

I bought this shirt today from H&M. The lovely and amazing Cyndi Lauper designed it and I just fucking love it. And 25% of the proceeds of each item sold are donated to youth HIV/AIDS awareness projects, so that doesn't hurt either.

my summer must haves

*basically the only things I use in summer:

mattifying cream: because I don't like to wear foundation. I sweat it off and it ends up feeling disgusting. This keeps your face matte and pretty dry.

eyebrow pencils: a good defined eyebrow means that you need less over- all make up. Which always sounds good to me because as I mentioned earlier, I hate wearing make up in summer.

digital camera: to capture all of the unforgettable moments.

sandals: I love these. I just got them at Payless. They're really comfortable and go with everything.

wayfarer sunglasses: I never liked this style because it looks odd on me, but I found an oversized pair on e-Bay for $3 and I can't stop wearing them.

right now pt. 2

possible grad dress

Carrie

one of my favorite O'Keeffe's

reese's pieces & chocolate milk

today was one of those amazing days where you think nothing can go wrong but, by the time night comes, it ends badly... and it's all over one little mistake blown out of proportion. FML.

xx

i cannot help your suffering
i am not here to ease your pain
i'm never comin back to your surrender
baby, i'm gone forever

fuck you

so, i'm a control freak who has a constant need to control peoples' lives... and that's why everyone hates me.

you're a fucking brat who always gets whatever she wants handed to her. you wine until you get your fucking way and then, when you get what you want, you're the worst show off in this whole entire world. you think everyone needs you, you think i'm gonna die without you. you feel bad for me. you pity your own friends and criticise how sad they are behind their backs. but then you run to them when you need them. you're a fucking hypocrit. and that's why everyone hates you.

hello, beans

So today, everyone that saw me was a little confused as to why I'm wearing a dress. Even guys I've never seen in my life seemed to notice that I'm not usually a dressy type of girl. I've been wearing a skirt and dresses for the past week now and I think it has something to do with it being my birthday next week. Maybe I feel a little bit womanly or something because I'm growing up? I am a fucking girl, a real girl with a vagina and everything :) so fuck off. If you like, then you should've put a ring on it. haha anyway. The patties from Mr Patty are fucking delicious, seriously, go find it. It's worth going to the middle of nowhere for.
http://www.yellowpages.ca/bus/Quebec/Montreal/Mr-Patty/2421507.html

I'm craving dumplings... mmmm... like, steamed beef ones or vegetable ones!!!

I need to eat. Munchie time xx

a couple of things

this weekend was heaven on earth, pretty much. it was 26 degrees on Saturday which is virtually unheard of in Montreal in April. i'm really sensitive to the sun, so of course i ended up getting a heat stroke which sucked. but i'm just pretty freakin thrilled because:

a) summer's on it's way
b) so is my birthday
c) school will soon be over
d) KISS is coming in July


i feel like maybe this summer will be different than all the others...? maybe...

what's going on in the world today..

i don't really watch the news, i'm more of a newspaper/magazine type of gal.. but waking up today, i turned on my tv and heard just about the most fucked up thing ever. so, the father of 9 year old Rubina Ali, the young star of Slumdog Millionaire, tried to sell his daughter for $300,000. i find this incredibly sad and it actually somewhat pisses me off. i can't believe we live in a world where hearing these stories is still possible. HUMAN RIGHTS, anyone? this is just plain awful.

happy birthday to me (?)

my birthday's in 3-ish weeks, and i haven't even thought about it once until right now which is why i'm writing it down. everyone keeps bringing it up, yet i never even think about it, so i figured this will be my reminder. i don't want anything yet, except the remainder of the Sex and the City seasons that i don't own and maybe some peace. a break. i'll be writing up my list soon and i can safely assume that i'll be getting nothing on it :)



right now i'm really obsessed with these. i've bought one every day this week. $1.99 is a good price for me hahahhh....

babble

so there have been talks about going to Vancouver with Cassan next year. if it is to happen, then that is the only thing i'm looking forward to in life. life's slow and boring these days, although the weather is getting fucking beautiful and school is over in 2 months!! and then i have to start looking for a job. ..and try to get my driver's license. so there you have it... as if anyone cares lol


tonight is the finale of E.R. so if you need me, i'll be in my bed crying.
feel free to call or come on by.

ok.

a lot of things annoying me at this very minute. i almost choked on my fucking lip ring for the 2nd day in a row (not to mention that this has happened at least 10 times in the past 2 months). my ball keeps falling out and getting lost, but eventually i find it around my room and put it back on. well on sunday, it fell down the drain. so now i have a bar sticking out of my face, and when i eat it falls into my mouth due to the stretching of lips... i swear, that is all i needed. no, really, i promise, this is amazing :) i don't fucking have $60 to buy a new lipring just because i'm missing the ball. UGHHHH. and right now, i just have to point out that people are so so so so fucking stupid. ok. and that is IT.

please

"And if I am a number I'm infinity plus one
And if you are five words you are afraid to be the one
And if you are a number you're infinity plus one
And if I am four words then I am needing of your love .."

This past weekend was, in a word, special. I don't want the past back. Just keep this up.

i hate myself so much right now

i am having, and this is an understatement, the worst night of my life. i swear, i am missing something. something large. there's an elephant in the room. ignorance is not bliss. i'm driving myself crazy with these thoughts and speculations and assumptions. are they really all wrong?



update: yes, and also no.

big girls don't cry

the fact that we are fed this thought from (practically) the beginning of our lives makes living right now that much harder. i cry all the time, for what i find to be good reasons, so does that make me a little girl? and what made me a big girl before? and who invented the rule that crying supposedly makes you weak?

i'm pretty tired of people who think they look strong but really come across as though they have no heart.

bubblegum cocktails

The first time I went into a bar, I was 8 (my dad owned it). The last time was last night. I only drank one drink. And it was that concoction that you see up there. It's equal parts vodka, banana liqueur, strawberry liqueur and that weird red syrup (grenadine?). How does that wind up tasting like bubblegum?

I haven't the slightest clue.

One Fifth

I am currently reading this book. I figure, I'm a fan of Candace's amazing creation that saved my life (Sex and The City) so I'll give this a try. So far I hate it :) Wait for updates.

right now

another one about goals

I've been reading a lot lately about women making their mark on the world. From Diane Von Furstenburg to Mariane Pearl, I'm inspired through and through. I guess there's an assumption that sexism no longer exists but, just like most kinds of prejudice, it's just very hidden today. There are "man" jobs and there are "woman" jobs and that seriously bothers me. It's not like I want to be a mechanic or a fire fighter (personally) but I know girls who do, and won't because they'll be perceived as "manly". All I have to say to that is FUCK THAT. There is no way I fall for any of that bullshit. Not every girl is going to love fashion magazines or idolize Paris Hilton (I actually don't buy that either) and nobody in this world should tell them that they should. I've never had a steady idea of what I've wanted to "be" and I'd actually get jealous when, being 8 years old and not even knowing these words, the other 8 year olds would proudly tell the adults they wanted to be lawyers or psychiatrists. I was like, where was I when the whole world advanced without me? I didn't get the notice.

I have a strange mesh of womanly and manly characteristics. For example, I'm pretty girly on the outside but, just like most boys learn to be in childhood, I'm tough skinned. Like they say in french, je ne me laisse pas faire. Basically, I don't let people step all over me, my beliefs, goals, ambitions, wants, needs. They aren't stupid, unrealistic or pointless (these are all real things I've heard) because I want them. And that's essentially the only thing that matters. My life isn't going to affect yours. So, kindly, go fuck yourself. We're living in a modern world, adjust your views.

goals

I feel like I'm walking around in a dream. Like some kind of cozy bubble. Lately, it feels as though all things have fallen into place and I feel a bit better, like I'm getting there. And it feels really good.

I have thought long and hard lately about my life, and what I want to do. And who I want to be in my life, and those that I don't want anymore. It's like I'm doing a spring-cleaning: life edition. I'm getting rid of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE who stands in my way.

I have plans to take my cosmetics course and then take my Carrie Bradshaw-wannabe-ass to New York. I really feel certain that it's gonna happen. But my first goal is to find a cute appartment this summer in the city, live a little bit, go back to school in the fall. And when all of that's done, finally make my move. Whatever it happens to be by then, because you never know...

Penélope

I think I've developed a serious lady-crush on Penélope Cruz. For the past almost 2 years now I have found her to be one of the most seriously beautiful women alive today. I've always had a hard time accepting that I'm latina. Latinas have either very strong features or very delicate features. I find that I have a mixture of both, and it's safe to say that I have always found it difficult to feel that I look pretty. I have really big eyes, a very dainty nose and full, big lips. And not to mention a full, round face. I've always had the mentality that there are no pretty spanish women. I just hated the way we all look. But looking at Penélope has changed my mind. And now she's gone and made me love her even more- she designs a line for the chain of stores called Mango. Her and sister collaborate on a line that has such beautiful pieces, a lot of them inspired by their native Spain. I picked up the spring/summer '09 catalogue for Mango and I literally ripped all her pictures out and stuck them on my wall.

a new look from the '09 catalogue

Eric

walkin with each other, think we'd never match at all.

but we do, but we do, but we do, but we do.

i thought i knew myself, somehow you know me more.

i've never known this never before.

you're the first to make up whenever we argue.

i don't know who i'd be if i didn't know you.

new found glory

help, I’m alive

my heart keeps beating like a hammer

I went ice skating today...in rubber rain boots. Cassandra forced me to let it go- let it all go. It was clarity. It made me realize so much, especially that it's ok to be human, to make MISTAKES and to ADMIT DEFEAT.

I saw life through new eyes today.

Volver

Yo adivino el parpadeo
De las luces que a lo lejos
Van marcando mi retorno.
Son las mismas que alumbraron
Con sus plidos reflejos
Hondas horas de dolor.
Y aunque no quise el regreso
Siempre se vuelve
Al primer amor.
La vieja calle
Donde me cobijo
Tuya es su vida
Tuyo es su querer.
Bajo el burlon
Mirar de las estrellas
Que con indiferencia
Hoy me ven volver.
Volver
Con la frente marchita
Las nieves del tiempo
Platearon mi sien.
Sentir
Que es un soplo la vida
Que veinte aos no es nada
Que febril la mirada
Errante en las sombras
Te busca y te nombra.
Vivir
Con el alma aferrada
A un dulce recuerdo
Que lloro otra vez.
Tengo miedo del encuentro
Con el pasado que vuelve
A enfrentarse con mi vida.
Tengo miedo de las noches
Que pobladas de recuerdos
Encadenen mi soar.
Pero el viajero que huye
Tarde o temprano
Detiene su andar.
Y aunque el olvido
Que todo destruye
Haya matado mi vieja ilusion,
Guardo escondida
Una esperanza humilde
Que es toda la fortuna
De mi corazn.
Volver
Con la frente marchita
Las nieves del tiempo
Platearon mi sien.
Sentir
Que es un soplo la vida
Que veinte aos no es nada
Que febril la mirada
Errante en las sombras
Te busca y te nombra.
Vivir
Con el alma aferrada
A un dulce recuerdo
Que lloro otra vez.

it's over

you’d better know that in the end it's better to say too much than never say what you need to say again

MARCHESA

Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig are the genius ladies behind the fashion line that is Marchesa. I'm really obsessed with the femininity of their line and also the timeless look of it.

Georgina Chapman in all her glory.

Anne Hathaway at the Oscars.

 

Dita Von Teese wearing two of my favorite designs.

My favorite woman in the world, SJP, modeling Marchesa in Vogue.

J.Lo in pretty pink Marchesa.

<3

you could only understand this if you've experienced the shitty service at the Eaton centre Thai Express.

my favorite man in the entire world.

Goldie and her duckie have the same cheeks.

Three Amigos (and my amazing little sister)

Cassandra, in all her glory :)

Tiff, we'll grow old together lol I've already known you for a lifetime

Goldie, the girly girl.

my man and his bitch.

Franny, my sis

Demitri, my adorable cousin. he enlightens me <3